Last night I took a few hours to dedicate to me, myself, and I. During these couple of hours that I sat on the beautiful arch fron looking on into the Mississippi, I had a self-reflection and analyzed who I really am...
Well here it goes:
My analogy- "The Nutty Professor"
My scripture- "For you have formed my inward parts, you wove me in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139: 13)
My words:
Like I stated before as I was sitting on the Arch's steps last night, I really sat and REALLY dug deep to find out and explain to MYSELF who I really am. When you see Jonathan Goines, you see an ego thats on 10, but you also see a humble soul. I know I know I know. You're thinking thats one hell of a contradiction. How can a person be humble but be arrogant and stubborn. Well I'd like to compare my life to a movie that has ALL the answers in my case. "The Nutty Professor." Buddy Love was the alter ego for Sherman Klump who was very bright but didnt have the appearance that was accepted by society.
No matter how corny it sounds but my past experiences are truly the reason's behind why I hold my head so high and drown myself with pride. When I was younger I was looked at as a little round bad boy aka the short fat bad black kid! LoL!....Honestly I didn't really have much motivation for myself or felt I had support from others in things I said I wanted to accomplish.
Lets rewind my life back to high school, freshman and sophmore year to be exact. I was basically what society called " A LAME." {{First step is to admit}} Now I wasnt lame because of my personality, but I was considered a lame because I didn't wear the cool clothes/shoes like everyone else. ((Sidenote: This is why i wear Ralph Lauren so much...bc my mother drapped us in this since we were little [[before it was a trend basically, when it was LAME]])).....My brother stood out in the crowd, he was handsome had all the nicer clothes (he had a job, he did for himself) but not so much of myself. I blended into the crowd. My mother stood strong on the saying "The clothes don't make the man, the man makes the clothes." She did try her hardest to make sure we had decent clothes and shoes, but she had bigger fish to fry. She had to raise 2 boys to men! I can remember times where I used paint to keep my shoes white, I remember when I only had 10 shirts to filter through and rotate them so it didnt seem like I wore the same thing everyday, when in reality i did. Man i remember those years.
The summer going into my Junior year I remember telling myself I wasn't going to be that person I was the last two school years. I hustled EVERYDAY for any piece of money (the legal way). I washed cars, cut grass, helped elderly, and at the end of the summer I found a job! It was THEN when my alter ego came in. Now don't get it twisted I didn't change because I had money, I changed because I wanted to "fit in" ((God I hate to admit that))...I worked so hard over that Summer to be able to have nicer things once the school year started. Now as I look back, I laugh because of course it was the trend then, but I came to school with my Girbauds and forces thinking I was in there! LoL!! But the crazy thing is, people DID start to notice me more. Its strange how society works, I could be a bum but be the smartest man on earth, but no one would take toll to me because Im not what they accept in a physical aspect.
Fast forward to 2007.....When I came home from school after first semester @ MSU, it was too late for me to register into Community College because it was past the deadline. I had a whole semester not doing anything, and my mother said out of her own mouth "I wasn't ever going to go back to school, and that i might as well get a job." Hearing that from your own mother?? Like when I stop having motivation for myself she's suppose to be there to push me, but to see her give up on me before I even gave up on myslef?? This was all the motivation I needed to push myself to NEVER ask a favor from NO ONE!! I ended up finding a good enouogh job that allowed me to save and buy my own car. I registered for classes and took care of ALL the finances that needed to be taken care of on my own, and came out of that first semester with a 3.2 gpa...You dont think my moms mouth dropped?!? All I need is for a person to tell me what im NOT gon do and I show them up EVERYTIME. "My success is ONLY determined by my own satisfaction."
Now lets not get my Pride mistaken for a chip on my shoulder, but I surely must say that my past experiences did have that much affect on me.
My humble and gentle ways are still amongst Jon without a shout of a doubt but I've accomplished so much for MYSELF and helped others on the road, so how can I not be the way I am. Im not saying I do this for the praise, thats ABSOLUTELY wrong, but I do like to pat myself on the back quite often bc if I don't then I wont feel I've done the job i set myself to do. ((That was THE longest diharea sentence EVER!!! LoL)))
Jon "The Stud", Mr. Debonair, JonnyFreshKid....is just the person for show, you LIKE him. But once you meet Jonathan M. Goines you'll LOVE him!!
